I’ll never understand why people think they’re complimenting us with that line or something similar. I never would have guessed, you don’t look autistic, oh, you must be very high functioning, well, we’re all a little autistic, right? No. Wrong.
Now, I don’t speak for the entire autistic community, because we all have our own individual experiences, but I sure as hell speak for me. It’s not a compliment, it’s an insult, I am the only one who gets to decide my functioning level. I am the one who gets to determine my worth. It’s like a punch to the gut whenever someone says I don’t look autistic. I spent years masking my traits because I was forced to. I’ve put a lot of energy into unmasking and relearning about my true, authentic autistic self. I’ve had to figure out where fake neurotypical me ended true autistic me began. I wake up every single day, thankful to be autistic. I thank the gods every morning for making me this way and I’m absolutely face first in love with my autism. It motivates me to start my day I swear.
Whenever someone says I don’t look autistic, it’s a constant reminder that society has it’s own little box of what they think you should be and you don’t fit in it. It’s wrong, it’s ableist and people have no idea how broad of a spectrum autism really is and how widely our experiences vary from person to person. If you ask 100 autistic people about our experiences with autism, you’ll get 100 different answers. So maybe the issue is not that I don’t look autistic, maybe the issue is that society needs to change its perspective of what autism looks like.
Then there’s my other personal favourite. My son/grandson/nephew/friend’s kid is autistic. You don’t look like them. You’re not like them at ALL! Nope, I’m not. I’m me. With MY autism. MY traits. MY experiences. Not theirs. Stop treating autistic people as a group and start treating us as individuals. Stop arguing with autistic people about autism. Stop thinking you know more than we do and for the love of all that is autistic, stop talking over us. Know when it’s time to close your mouth and open your mind.
Autistically Me 